Hello! I'm Star
Wars Syl and this is the Remember Clone Captain Keeli blog.
Warning: This
post will contain spoilers for this episode, and any episodes that
came before it.
“Sorry, it's just my brain went to
Breaking Dawn Part Two.”— Tess.
Oh, my
Force, yes. I wasn't
expecting a non-slur Twilight reference, so that was a surprise that
left me smiling. Twilight-bashing is a fad, and it's become a bit of
a broken record, as far as I'm concerned. It's like when I hear
people mocking me for loving the Prequels, or see someone else
picking on a kid for liking Winnie-the-Pooh.
In
this episode, Gabriel revealed himself to Cat. Ta-da! Now there's two
of them! I'll admit, in my
speculation as for what Gabriel might be, Beast was
not on the list until we saw the glowy eyes last episode. Nice twist.
“Twelve hours until I turn back
into a pumpkin.” An absolutely
adorable statement to come out of Vincent's mouth, unexpected and
delightful.
Also in this
episode, we get to have a closer look at Vincent's battle between
self-loathing and self-acceptance, learn he spent ten years searching
for a cure, not enjoying the moments along the way because he was too
focused on the destination.
I have
battled Lyme Disease for most of my life. I rarely see myself
represented in media: individuals assailed by an “Invisible”
disease that impacts every aspect of their daily lives. It's very
rare to have a protagonist with this kind of struggle, and to be
honest, when all the heroes on screen are healthy... it's harder to
respect my own body's struggle, because it feels like I should
be healthy. I should
be able to do the things these
heroes do.
A cure
can be defined as something that works for
everyone, and works
all the time. Right
now, the treatments for chronic Lyme are experimental at best, and
while some things work for some people, it doesn't work for everyone,
and the reasons why are
still being unearthed.
Each
time I try something new, I lose a little more hope that we'll find
something that works for me. Something that lasts, so
that I don't relapse after a few years of apparent health.
Cat's
final conclusion was beautiful. To live in the moment, to seize what
joys there are to be gained now, and keep open for options of healing
in the future... but not to put life on hold for a cure that may not
come in our lifetimes. Be willing to try, but don't expect life to
start after a cure
date.
That's
been my struggle. My current life doesn't feel real because I'm not
well yet, and once I'm well, then
I can really start
living. It's only in recent months I've determined I can't keep
living in that hell. I have to live now.
And yes, my battle means sometimes I have to spend internal resources
on simply surviving instead of the exciting things others take for
granted (walking... consistent mental math... the ability to drive a
car without excruciating agony), but there are still wonderful things
here and now. And I'm not going to ignore them anymore.
The
Lyme I fight every second of every day doesn't give me superstrength
or gorgeous glowing eyes, but the principle is the same. Keep
trying to find a way out, and if it doesn't work, it's okay, but just
keep trying, and don't let it rob you of the present.
Cat's
words: “I don't need you to be cured. I just need you to
not give up.”
Lyme isn't the only
Invisible Disease (a disease that is easy to forget a friend has if
you aren't experiencing that battle every day yourself, one that by
looking at them you wouldn't know they have). Our struggle is real.
The fact people forget and expect us to accomplish the same physical
or emotional feats as others can make us feel forgotten.
I'm going to take
my leave of you with just one more quote that I highly enjoyed.
Vincent
said, speaking of Gabriel, “He's not bad for a suit.”
Cat's
reply? “And so begins a very unique bromance.”
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